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Shooting Sparrows

by -k

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1.
A five-dollar drink that I didn’t really want A five-dollar cover charge for a band I didn’t like I’m a fearful consumer, conceding to the seller, Too caught up in appearances, buying in and selling out. I’m all outside of my element tonight It’s an unfamiliar place with no friends. And here I am now, just a sitting in the corner With my elbows sticking to the tabletop. I keep stealing glances from myself in the mirror, Watching the waitresses behind the bar, Thinking: This here beer, the empty calories, This past hour, what a waste. Grandpa used to tell me I could shoot the sparrows ‘Cause they don’t ever measure up to anything. But lately I’ve been looking over my shoulder Just to make sure no one’s out there aiming at me. Oh ain’t it funny how I just feel so damn important? That I feel like everyone needs to know what I think? Another winter songbird blending into the grey, Chirping out forgettable melodies. This disillusion, this feeling unique, We think we’re special just because we can speak
2.
The sign on the door said, “Not an exit” I saw a lady enter anyway. She had a key. She had a lot of keys. So much power in her hands, That she could bend the rules. Oh now old man folding clothes, Why are you here? Yes the obvious answer is you’re doing your laundry, And this is a laundromat…. But why are you here? What did you want to be when you were young? Did all your dreams come true? I see your car, I see the things you have. They are as worn out as the skin on your face. Is this what you wanted? Why are you here? But then again, Why am I here? Why are any of us here at the laundromat today? We’re all trying to be our best, Trying to look presentable, Trying to convey to others that we’re all just doing fine. But we’re trying to get our clothes clean, In dirty used up water, That everyone in town has been through before. It’s the same dirty water that everybody drinks. And it’s the same dirty water that mingles with our piss in the pipes. I think it’s safe to assume, That life didn’t go According to the plan. Because rich folks don’t come here, They got washers and dryers of their own. Oh life’s been cruel to you, Oh life’s been cruel to you. And it’s easy to see you’re living alone, ‘Cause most men your age have wives to do their laundry. “Well now everybody’s trying to push This liberal humanistic civil rights garbage on me, And I just get defensive. I don’t know why. It seems like they’re trying to tell me that equality is synonymous with fairness, But it’s not…….. Hell! Some of us are born taller, and stronger, and faster, and smarter, and richer than others. Any of this talk, that we’re all the same, is just wishful thinking, And anyone who wants to try and tell you otherwise is just trying to sell you something. After all, we’re all looking out for number one, right?” Some say when life hands you lemons you should make lemonade, Then you can sell it on the corner for a quarter for a cup, But the cups and signs for advertisement all cost money too, And no one wants to buy your juice, They’ve got lemons of their own. Oh life’s been cruel to you, Oh life’s been cruel to you.
3.
Well you should see them when they’re storming through the automatic doors, You can hear their motor powered chairs straining across the floors Under the ever watchful eyes in the ceiling up above Looking out for profit, their one and only love And with these prices so low, there’s no better place to go To get your Chinese merchandise and kill your local Joe. Wal-Mart shoppers, don’t shop for less, this discount life is gonna bring you down. This discount life is gonna bring you down. Gotta basket full of plastic and nothing green Got your food stamps in your pocket for the poverty machine. Got a big man carrying you on his back, Setting you up for a heart attack And you’re gonna let him do it, cut the legs from under you, ‘Cause you won’t bite the hand that heeds you, when it’s the one that feeds you. Wal-Mart shoppers, don’t shop for less, this discount life is gonna bring you down. This discount life is gonna bring you down. Oh now Uncle Sam Walton is poking holes in your vessel ‘Cause you won’t rock the boat while you’re busy bailing water. He’s gonna sell your health to the hospital And the pharmacist will own your sons and your daughters. Oh now Wal-Mart shoppers, don’t shop for less, This discount life is gonna bring you down. This discount life is gonna bring you down. No we ain’t got the time for these health nut antics, ‘Cause we ain’t got the money for the food that’s organic. Quantitie’s king when you’re under paid Trying to feed a family on Medicaid But there’s hormones in the milk that they’re dumping into WIC And Mama wants to know why the baby’s sick. Wal-Mart shoppers, don’t shop for less, This discount life is gonna bring you down. This discount life is gonna bring you down. Poor people food tastes better than it should Poor people food goes down too good Poor people food, fill your arteries with goo Poor people food, get your heart strings stewed Poor people food, make your belly protrude Poor people food, your diabetic début Poor people food, get your mind construed Poor people food will keep you subdued.
4.
When you weigh too much to walk and you can’t see your cock Get yourself a social security scooter You can cart yourself around while drawing taxes from your town Riding on a social security scooter Got that sugar, sugar, starch, feed those parasites on march Riding on their social security scooters Declaring their entitlement to governmental supplement Riding on a social security scooter Obesity oblivion, go scorn a vegetarian Go eat yourself to death or until your lungs can’t draw no breath Then let a doctor intervene with an oxygen machine Get diabetes, diabetes, even death can not defeat us We gonna live forever as long as someone’s there to feed us And you can get yourself a social security scooter Go and get yourself a social security scooter
5.
Well we’ll tear down all the trees and we’ll burn away their leaves We’ll harvest all the woods and turn ‘em into paper goods And in our halls of cardboard where we’ll hoard our packaged food We’ll crank the air conditioners and eat more than we should Then we’ll break apart the rocks and fill ‘em in with crops We’ll saturate the soil with chemicals and oil And with our diesel engines roaring in our tractor harvest-alls We’re gonna save the world by turning corn to ethanol So let us plow away the prairie, feed the cattle pesticides We’ll drink their mutant dairy, keep our bodies compromised And then we’ll wonder why our children don’t develop properly While we blame it on the internet and satellite TV ‘Cause the counselors at school tell you there’s something wrong That Junior isn’t focusing or following the rules So we took him to the doctor and got a bill three feet long He sent us to the pharmacist for capsulated jewels So then we walk into the bank and we try and get a loan ‘Cause Junior’s on a breathing tank and needs a better home So we get a fixed rate mortgage that we’ll pay off when we’re old On top of all our student debt and titles that we hold But now the money’s getting thinner and the children still want dinner So we settle for the cheapy stuff with artificial filler Now the girls are hitting puberty before they’re even ten They’ve been eating chicken fingers laced with estrogen But meanwhile there’s a senator who’s funded automatic When he goes to the grocery store he only shops organic We got a generation wrecking ball from GMO decay Grandpa’s been a guinea pig for the FDA ‘Cause when we subsidize the food supply to the greedy corporations Well you shouldn’t act surprised when they don’t meet your expectations Now nothing’s gonna change Nothing’s gonna change Nothing’s gonna change, so why even try Nothing’s gonna change Nothing’s gonna change Nothing’s gonna change and we’re all gonna die Goodbye.
6.
the Thief 03:11
Like a fawn upon the meadow she crept cautious towards the exit With a shopping cart of diapers and baby formula But that grocery store Gestapo came and caught her ‘round the corner He’d been watching her from his hidden camera And from his mouth rang the sound of defeat “Excuse me, ma’am, can I see your receipt.” Oh honey, no one No one tolerates a thief Well she shoved away her shopping cart into that sales clerk And she dashed out the doors like a dancer gone bezerk And as she tore across the parking lot, her heels a flyin’ high I coulda swore I heard a baby start to cry With the merchandise recovered you’d’ve thought they’d let her be But they notified a sheriff, just in case she tried to flee Sometimes justice is rubbing salt inside an injury She musta hardly been no more than sixteen But oh for a young girl, she sure stirred up quite a scene All the folks inside the vestibule they said she had it comin’ Saying, “I hope they catch up to her out there as she’s runnin’.” But I’m not a mother, so I don’t feel I have a voice But people don’t steal diapers ‘less they see no other choice …And I remember my mother saying, “I’d do anything for you.” But honey no one, No one tolerates a thief
7.
It was early in the morning, before the rooster summoned the sun I saw that crooked farmer with his trusty shooting gun And as he crept into the barnyard, my friends began to stir There was a flash and a bang and an echo that rang Sending shivers down my fir As blood pools on the mud and straw Around old Bessie’s broken jaw Warden, farmer, lord, and law I was born beneath a heat lamp in a damp and narrow stable I could hear my cousins crying from beyond my musty cradle Then lights came down from the ceiling as I tripped o’er the feeding trough There was a rubber glove, picked me up and cut my tail off My mother’s name is 32 She says it ain’t nothin’ new And that there’s nothing we can do Bessie’s coat hangs in the oak tree behind the tool shed And it flaps in the breeze like a battered flag flowing butterscotch and red And the dogs like to bark at the chickens and they like to come and tease us They say Bessie’s in the icebox, cut up in little pieces No I can’t stand their canine grins Lately I’ve been noticing Those bones they gnaw ain’t venison Well the last thing I can remember I was barreling over the fence In a tangle of woven wire and a head filled up with sense The tree line lay before me beyond the asphalt river When a pair of yellow screeching eyes came and bust my bones to slivers Oh my whole life has been a lie I was born and bred to die Nothing more than meat to fry It happened too fast Once my stars aligned By the time I knew what was happening Someone else made up my mind Now darling don’t you bring me down When you’re holding on my hand Tell me what I gotta do to make you understand No baby, I can’t stay here anymore Tomorrow’s burning up and the fire’s at the door And all we thought was happiness Was more like pouring diesel on the floor
8.
Burgers and fries, burgers and fries, cheeseburgers and fries mystery meat and dinner surprise cheeseburgers and fries. Burgers and fries, burgers and fries, cheeseburgers and fries mystery meat and dinner surprise cheeseburgers and fries. (an additional verse of "the Thief", in hindsight) Well now those diapers and that formula you'd think that they were pearls the way they followed after to arrest that little girl and all the managers with folded hands they said it's only policy "we simply can't afford to be a charity." but meanwhile in the stockrooms they're throwing food away while homeless people on the streets are starving everyday and somewhere far away there's a corporate CEO on holiday.
9.
Mama Save Me 02:42
Sacred fetus Abortion child Blessed is your antilife Your vaccination Your termination Your afterlife invitation (Chorus) Mama save me Mama save me Mama save me from the burden of your womb Mama save me Mama save me Mama save me from existence Well they force you into being Taboo your means of fleeing They make you tolerate your being ill They say to count your blessings And daily celebrate The grand illusion of free will (Chorus) Well all you righteous politicians You talented morticians Parading around a corpse of decency While you preach pro-life You bury a knife In the belly of poverty (Chorus)
10.
Broken bodies, Frightened spirits, Hiding out from death’s decay Pumping blood Through plastic tubing Drawing breath from a machine Are they living? Or existing? Why survive if not to thrive? Live while you can under the fullness of the sun And don’t fear the night as it darkens your horizons There’s an endless amount of stars for you to count Every action’s A reaction To conception in the womb Being born Was not an option No decision on our part But through death There is a freedom In the choosing of our end
11.
We were all held in ransom by cellular phones Like pigeons tethered to stones Could I not hear the hum of my soul as it droned Vibrating all throughout my bones? Now where are the books that I meant to write In the darkening hours of night? They’ve been lost in the couch cushions Tucked outta sight Covered in dust and contrite As I live in terror of time How I tremble at each bell and chime Could the source of my trouble Be how I define In thinking that all of it’s mine? I was watching a paid TV program Avoiding a projected plan I was thinking about what Bukowski had said In a book about rye bread and ham He said that life’s just one big disappointment With your young years spent looking ahead Then you get older And see you’ve been led To an old dried up dead riverbed As I live in terror of time How I tremble at each bell and chime Could the source of my trouble Be how I define In thinking that all of it’s mine? Now darling, when it’s the end And the credits begin And the names of the actors descend Can we sit in the dark And try to pretend We’re foolish young lovers again?

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credits

released February 2, 2015

I would like to thank my wife, Allison, for putting up with all the disorder I created in the house during the production of this project. I would also like to thank Sam and Lila Kigar for sub-leasing out their house to us and granting me access to their piano and banjo. Furthermore, I would like to thank my past employer for paying me to write all these songs on company time.

All songs were written and performed by Kelly Howerton between 2012 and 2014. The song, the Laundromat, was written by Kelly Howerton back in 2009.
All album artwork was created by Kelly Howerton in 2014.
All tracks were recorded by Kelly Howerton in June 2014.

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-k Hurdland, Missouri

i sing songs that pop in my head.
I record them so i can forget them.
Here they are.
Enjoy.

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