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Speeding Up the Process

by -k

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1.
The Dutch Elm Rag Well got that Dutch elm disease coursing through my veins And I fear the ice of coming winter days Well when you stand next to me oh so tall and green My barren leafless branches stand out for all to see Well when you go down that old road to the Elephant Rock down where the Fabi overflows You can see me leaning on that old hedge fence; I’m rotting and decaying from the inside out When you stand next to me, oh so tall and green, my branches never looked so dead [Refrain] Well when I’m old- and tired of living And my body starts to decay Well when my feet can’t keep a walking My head can’t keep a talking Take that axe, clear me out, start a chopp’n Well the other trees start swaying when that chilly north wind blows but my limbs just ain’t as limber as they used to be one day the ground beneath me’s littered with the branches that are broke and I cannot help but wonder if I’m bout to fall apart I can’t help but fear, the ice of coming years, come next winter, good, good bye [Refrain] I got that Dutch elm disease coursing through my limbs, like cancer through the veins And that fence line running next to me’s been sitting there for years, when I fall I’ll take it out with me No it ain’t no spiteful vengeance, I just wanna be remembered when I die, think of me [Refrain]
2.
Faith not Hope Have faith, faith, that things won’t go your way And you won’t be disappointed when they don’t If the cards ain't in your favor don’t just fold the hand you’re dealt Raise the bet play the bluff, fate is for fools Sure miracles are nice when they come around But miracles don’t happen on a day to daily basis So don’t waste your time with wishes, they’re just Hollywood cliches No don’t sit around a wondering what may or could have been What you see is what you got; better learn to make it work Sure miracles are nice when they come around So have faith not hope, and you won’t be disappointed When things don’t go your way and they usually won’t Keep your expectations grounded, cause life can let you down So have faith not hope, hope’s over-rated Sure miracles are nice when they come around But how many times have I walked through the valley Unharmed, unscathed, does that mean there was no danger? Or was someone watching out for me for threats I didn’t see? Maybe miracles mean living in God’s continuous care.
3.
The Farmer’s Apprentice Walking through the fields at night, walking hand and hand The Farmer and his apprentice He said son listen closely; learn from my mistakes I’ll teach you everything I learned to instill myself in you [Chorus] There’s work to be done I can’t finish I’ve been forced to resign too young Oh there’s work to be done I can’t finish So I’m sending you boy in my place Back along long time ago, many years ago It would seem I’d wrote the book on success But time has a way of bringing about change A few stormy seasons with no insurance can put you in the red [Chorus] Listen to the winds of change rustl’n through the trees If you’re stuck in your ways they’ll blow ya down And don’t trust the lenders or anything that’s free If it’s too good to be true then it’s probably not for you [Chorus} Look at these here hands if mine, they’re weathered and they’re worn I worked them til the cancer took my head And I expect you’ll do the same, work until you dig your grave There’s no more time for idleness the harvest time is near [Chorus}
4.
Wish I’d been There Looking through your photographs I see your smiles I see your laughs Another captured moment in which I missed out on your life And once upon a time I might have seen me with you in that frame But that time is non-existent, oh am I the one to blame? Oh I wish that I’d been there- with you If your life was a movie, would I be casted in As a supporting actor, or just an extra in the crowd As the years keep slipping by before my very own unwatching eyes You will hardly know me, and I won’t wonder why Oh I wish that I’d been there- with you If I had one golden opportunity to change my world I’d place myself in your photographs and fake some memories And the next time when we get together and you pull out all your picture books We’ll reminisce the good times that you really don’t remember Oh I wish that I’d been there- with you
5.
Since My Eyes met You Your Face is quite familiar but I don’t know your name, But I have never seen the clouds so pale, since my eyes met you. Oh how I tremble, how I shake, I cannot help but hesitate, To come on over and introduce myself, cause I love you, or at least I’d like to try. I play our conversations out in my head Oh how I hope you talk like I rehearsed, maybe laugh at my jokes. But you seem to be oh so cold, through a smile my way, I might get the nerve to introduce myself so I can love you, or at least I can try. You lure me, elude me, oh baby you completely consume me, Everything just seems so passed away, since my eyes met you So come on darling help me out, lend me your hand Come on over and introduce yourself, cause I love you, or at least I’d like to try.
6.
Time Well Wasted Look at my achievements; they’re all hanging on the wall, My certificates and trophies from events I don’t recall, But I don’t get frustrated it’s all time well wasted. We never seem to mention all our past and our mistakes, I guess we’re just pretending that it never did take place, But all the times your lips I tasted that was time well wasted. (refrain) Whoa I keep on hesitating Now my opportunity’s fading It’s gonna pass me by Whoa I sense my shining moment Slipping through my finger tips, It’s gonna pass me by If loneliness it was a sin God might never let me in The pearly gates of heaven that come haunting in my dreams (refrain)
7.
Stubborn Old Man Sunday morning church doors open big bells ring and choirs sing the tithers tithe, I stayed in bed Feeling quite proud of me, I did not bow my head The congregation gathered round the alter where the saints began to pray as I held my breath Going through the motions, I fooled the rest I’ll be a stubborn old man I’ll be a stubborn old man Someday Oh I’m on my way I saw you just the other day, we faked our smiles pretended we were both ok I bit my tongue I saved you from the words that you well deserved Cause when we fight the less I try, the more I find that you’ve already made your mind I’ll say no more Oh yes I’d like to make amends but not admit I’m wrong I’ll be a stubborn old man I’ll be a stubborn old man Someday Oh I’m on my way And here I sit with so called friends adopting thoughts of apathy towards everything I’m up in smoke I haven’t got a thought, I call my own And I shake and shiver in my sleep, and in my head I cried out to anyone To save my soul But I only want to go to heaven cause I’m terrified of hell I’ll be a stubborn old man I’ll be a stubborn old man Someday Oh I’m on my way
8.
Speeding up the Process Lord take me away while I’m still in good grace I’m safe today, but I might screw up tomorrow Lord take me away just like you did Elijah But I don’t need no fancy chariot, I could leave in a car crash Or have an aneurism or some freak accident It’s a good time for me to leave right now, ain’t got much to leave behind No large investments Lord, no hearts to break But I’m still young and healthy Lord, got quite awhile to live So how bout I speed up the process, how bout I speed up the process How bout I speed up the process, I’ll speed up the process How bout I speed up the process Oh take me as I am, I could die inside my sleep But if I took my life would you honor it the same? Oh as far as I know, there ain’t no suicidals in heaven As far as I know, there ain’t no suicidal in heaven I was at a funeral; I didn’t know em that well But I know they didn’t know you either, so they’re probably in hell But people don’t like to admit that much, we cover it up with clichés Saying things like, “they were always good ol boys; they were just having fun.” When things go wrong, everybody’s a saint
9.
A hole left to fill Well I’ve been with that old lady a month shy of twenty years We split the bills right down the middle and I kept her house in shape. But she willed away her property to all her daughters three And now I’m just left here a wondering if I’ll have to leave here or stay. (chorus) Ain’t it ironic? Who woulda guessed? You’d think letting go wouldn’t leave such a mess. But there’s a funeral to plan and pictures to frame There’s debts to be paid and a symptom to blame. And there’s always a hole left to fill Yes there’s always a hole left to fill. I got a brother down in Missouri; he says I can stay with him. I think I’ll take him up on his offer and make for some greener hills And when I cross that southern border, I won’t look back o’er my shoulder. I’m leaving everything up in Iowa in a hole left to fill. (chorus) Well now all you silly Christians, getting buried in the dirt, Paying for your preservation, waiting for the revelation. Well y’all just now remember nothing in this life is free. Being born is just a dowry for a coronary fee.
10.
when I'm old 04:22
When I’m Old When I’m old and my hair starts a graying And my ears and eyes don’t work Will I have grown to be any wiser? Or will I still make the same mistakes? When I’m old will I scorn little children? Tell them how hard the old days were, Will I be like I never, Said I’d be when I’m old? Then when we retire Will we have all we ever desired? In this world we live in for a while When I’m old and my days grow a fewer, And my lifetime comes to an end Will I leave this world any better Than it was when I arrived Oh I’ll never retire I’ll wear my life out down to the wire In this world we live in for a while
11.
the funeral 04:22
The Funeral Well I went to the funeral home today. I shook some hands and gave some hugs away And I put on my best sad face (It was a real sad face) and I sure as thought that widow’d be a balling out her eyes but she smiled at me and said she’s doing fine. And that took me by surprise Seemed like she was glad her husband up and died I was feeling mighty awkward, so I just bowed my head Them folks just seemed to happy, like they’s dishonoring the dead. So I turned tail and fled I went home instead My sad face was simply out of place I was feeling mighty terrible for that stranger in the casket. I heard that he died in a farming accident With no son call an heir Just his daughters with their suitor’s names. Well I went to the funeral home today. (Yay) I shook some hands and gave some hugs away. And I put on my best sad face And I practiced it for hours in front of the mirror. I was going for a look that’d be sincere. (It was a real sad face)

about

This collection of songs is a revisiting and a re-recording of some material I wrote as a younger man. At the time of their conception and recording, I could not do them proper justice in their presentation. And yet, I still can’t. I have poured as much of myself as I can into my music, only to press it and condense it down into teeny tiny digital computer files, which you now listen to. It was Schopenhauer who said that music is the only art form that is not a copy of the phenomenon. When a musician plays a note on their instrument, it is here and then it is gone like the wind. You cannot keep it like you can a painting or a sculpture. Of course, Schopenhauer did not live to see the dawn of musical recording. Nevertheless, the spirit does not reside in a recording, no more than a breeze exists in a jar of air. To listen to a recording is to admire a taxidermied animal mounted on the wall.
I hope you enjoy what I have killed.

credits

released August 28, 2014

I would like to thank my old friends from Oskaloosa Iowa whom I used to rub shoulders with when I lived there. (You know who you are.) I may have used many of you as a soundboard once or twice in testing these songs out. Thanks for smiling, nodding, and telling me they sounded great. You really boosted my confidence.
I would like to thank my wife for having the courage to tell me that she didn’t really like the way I sang the songs. I would also like to thank my wife for being patient with me in learning to accept and appreciate her honesty.

All songs were written by Kelly Howerton between 2009 and 2010, however the “the funeral”, was written in 2012 and “a hole left to fill” was written in 2013”.
All songs and instrumentation were performed and recorded by Kelly Howerton.
All of the album artwork was created by Kelly Howerton.
-enjoy.

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about

-k Hurdland, Missouri

i sing songs that pop in my head.
I record them so i can forget them.
Here they are.
Enjoy.

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